Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Black Wool - An Awkward Tale

For no reason other than "It goes with everything", nearly all of my outerwear choices are black. Black coat, scarf, hat, mittens. And for no reason other than I live in what this year feels like the Arctic Tundra, nearly all of these selections are wool.

Black Wool.

Although my mittens have caused me much trouble in the past, today the outerwear mishap I blog of is my scarf.

My scarf, of black and white wool, has been of particular interest to my three month old of late.

Excellent! Anything to occupy her! I drape it over the back of the couch and she stares at the contrasty dots for ... well, minutes on end. She coos and wiggles and has even started grabbing for it.

Grabbing. Trouble. I look away for a minute or leave the room and come back to find her under, over, on top of, or somehow swirled up in said scarf. She's still having a heck of a time mind you - a fist full of it waving to and fro, legs-a-kicking, and nowhere near close to strangling herself. Trust me - she could never find her own neck.

So what's the problem?

Stick with me on this. If you look closely at the pictured scarf, you'll note the little white fibers that show against the black background. I took a photo of a single strand for reference, but couldn't bring myself to post it. If you're familiar with the wool fiber, you know that it's rather short, rather kinky, and tends to have a slight... shall we say... curl?

I know.

So, there's my daughter covering herself in wool fibers. From my scarf. My black and white scarf. And there's me, with practically black hair, bringing her out in public to various doctors appointments.

Here's where it gets awful.

Somehow, those wool fibers? They get everywhere. No matter to what extent I inspect her in a bath of natural sunlight before we leave the house, it never fails. The doctor is examining her and I suddenly spy a short, dark, curly wool fiber on her earlobe. Stuck to her diaper. Peeking out of her sock.

I realize I'm being overly paranoid. A wool fiber surely looks like a wool fiber. However, standing there under the harsh flourescents in front of a doctor and half naked baby with a bald husband beside me, I'm not reassured by this knowledge.

Neon green. I think I'm gonna have to go with neon green wool from now on.

3 comments:

Sooze said...

That is freakin' hysterical!

You could go with neon pink or tangerine orange as well.

Just be happy spring is right around the corner!

Claire said...

Thanks for the laugh!!!

Oh, & don't feel silly or paranoid - I'd have felt the same way!

...m... said...

Best thing about wool is that it keeps you warm even when it's wet. Cotton can't do that. Why? I heard that it was because lamb's wool is actually hollow in the center, thereby being insulating by it's design.

Cool, huh?

(Are you sure that her sweater is real lamb's wool? There are several grades of it and some imports may actually be some other kind of hair. Just sayin')