Tuesday, August 11, 2009

An Open Letter to the Mosquitoes who Find me Delicious

Mosquitoes, Gnats, Noseeums, et bloodsuckers all:

While I can appreciate the need to sustain your short and (albeit) relatively insignificant life by exchanging your irritating, itchy, venom for my hemoglobin; I'd like to point out that there are far more desirable parts for you to feast on than my right eyelid.

I am, of course, speaking here from a strictly parasitic point of view.

From my own point of view, which is somewhat limited due to the swelling of my right eyelid, I would appreciate you keeping your stings to more cosmetically appealing areas such as but not strictly limited to: ankles. Left preferably, as I scratch right handed.

Thank you very much.

2 comments:

jaime said...

What crazy creature would go "That chick's right eyelid has VAST amounts of life sustaining hemoglobin!!!" ?!?!

Really?

ACK

Masada (aka: Curtis) said...

I'd have to assume that bugs really don't have a clue. I mean if you were a parasite and your food was a billion times bigger than you, would you really think, "Hey I know! I'll take a big chomp right out of its eye! It won't notice!" I think they must be blissfully unaware of the likely doom they are about to feast on.