Tuesday, August 11, 2009

An Open Letter to the Mosquitoes who Find me Delicious

Mosquitoes, Gnats, Noseeums, et bloodsuckers all:

While I can appreciate the need to sustain your short and (albeit) relatively insignificant life by exchanging your irritating, itchy, venom for my hemoglobin; I'd like to point out that there are far more desirable parts for you to feast on than my right eyelid.

I am, of course, speaking here from a strictly parasitic point of view.

From my own point of view, which is somewhat limited due to the swelling of my right eyelid, I would appreciate you keeping your stings to more cosmetically appealing areas such as but not strictly limited to: ankles. Left preferably, as I scratch right handed.

Thank you very much.

2 comments:

Jaime said...

What crazy creature would go "That chick's right eyelid has VAST amounts of life sustaining hemoglobin!!!" ?!?!

Really?

ACK

Masada said...

I'd have to assume that bugs really don't have a clue. I mean if you were a parasite and your food was a billion times bigger than you, would you really think, "Hey I know! I'll take a big chomp right out of its eye! It won't notice!" I think they must be blissfully unaware of the likely doom they are about to feast on.